Hikaria

Sorry everyone, but as you can see in diagram one, i’m technically not alive so I can’t technically post.

On a random note, I love it how ‘ass’ is the only word you can read in the scramble, other than ‘eek’ and ‘argh’ which aren’t technically words. Technically.

Every fortnightly Saturday, an event of incredible, awesome, super proportions takes place. An event which involves two people and a large fluffy dog. An event which makes man rethink what a dog really is. What is a dog? A fluffy mass with four limbs? Or is it something deeper? Well, every Saturday, we realise that there is more to the dog. That a dog is not just a fluffy mass with four limbs. A dog is, in fact, a fluffy mass with four limbs that desperately needs washing! A revelation indeed!

(I just came home from a two hour stats lecture in case you were thinking ‘jeez Tiff, what are you on?’)

Anyway, I had a great Saturday because I finally got to partake in the dog washing. I usually work on Saturdays, but I took the day off this time, which meant I could wash the dog. My God it is fun. The highlights of Phillip-washing include:

1. Putting his limbs in a bucket - Because he is so big, there doesn’t actually exist a tub or sink or bucket that fits him. Maybe one of those inflatable pools, but we’re not inflating a pool each time we want to wash him. So instead, we put all four of his limbs into a medium bucket and go from there.

2. The lathering - he shakes the lather off… and eats the soap suds. It baffles me. I mean his favourite treats are raw bones and liver, so soap suds?!

3. The rinsing - he just sits there and lets you rinse him off! And when you get to his ass he stands up! Awwwwww!

4. The drying stages 1, 2 and 3 - stage 1 involves him automatically lying on towels placed on the ground and he rolls like a maniac on them. The second stage involves getting him to run around like a maniac in the sun in the backyard. The third stage involves a walk.

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UPDATE: Asked David today to tell me, in percentages, how much the following words cause him to want to hit his head against a wall. He promptly refused to cooperate, such is the repulsive power of my tennis talk!

Another big tennis tournament is nearly upon us (May 25th… only a month and a bit away!) and suddenly all I can think about and talk about is tennis. David’s gotten really sick of it, which is amazing since he actually plays the sport. I think this is what’s going on in his brain these days:

Mention of word/s vs desire to hit head against wall in percentages:

• Tennis : 70%
• Clay: 10%
• Clay court: a mere 10% as well!
• Coach: 30%
• Hired a coach: 90%
• Hooray! He has hired a coach: 95%
• Andy Roddick/ A-rod: 20%
• Damn that annoying Roddick!: 90%
• Federer/Roger/Roger Federer/Tennis God of Tennis-ness name that shall not be spoken: 100%

I think that’s pretty accurate.

Anyway, so the French Open (so close! so close!) is nearly upon us, and I will inevitably only talk about tennis, so I thought I should just warn everyone that soon, at some point, this blog will be over taken by tennis news, tennis related random crap, tennis ball reviews, tennis racquet drawings for no reason, and assorted hairstyle reviews.

Lastly: the ATP (you would think I know what that stands for, but I don’t. Something big and tennis related) has launched some sort of new advertising campaign called “FEEL IT!” (supposedly it has to be in caps?). From the website itself:

“[The ad] will showcase the sport’s core values as a one on one gladiatorial battle, full of intensity and passion.”

Haha… one and one and full of intensity and passion. Oh and gladiatorial. Yes people, I am corrupted and sick.

One of the things that make me intensely, awesome excited is when I open the door and find a parcel addressed to me at the doorstep, knowing that the thing I ordered online has finally arrived! Just to go off on a tangent here, I do hate getting home and finding that stupid slip of paper that says ‘your parcel has been sent to the post office for pickup’, because I do not want to walk to the stupid post office that’s going to close in about five minutes anyway and then I have to wait for another day.

Ahem. With that said, I recently received two Japanese craft books on the topic of amigurumi and just general crocheting of flowery blankets and stuff like that. I like the amigurumi the one best. I mean, where else am I going to find patterns for knitted coloured pencils, or crocheted pudding, or the following item:

Look! It’s on a plate!

Awwwwwww! It’s a rice ball! David (the boyfriend) was all like ‘rice ball rice ball rice ball me memememe!’ so I made one for him in our lecture.

Sorry about the quality of the pictures. It’s the fault of David’s crap photography skills phone camera quality.

Kira kira no popstaaaaar…

God he’s just too gay cute. Sort of. It’s actually a song I really like, that, and the nerdy one is kind of cute.

One of my various favourite forms of procrastination is actually getting into the kitchen and cooking something. Considering that you’re theoretically not supposed to be procrastinating for long, a procrastination recipe has to be a) easy, b) can easily be thrown together with what you already have at home and c) quick to prepare. Banana bread, in its easiest form, fits all of those categories, and not only that it’s a perfect autumn* comfort food. This recipe is vegetarian friendly, vegan unfriendly, and nut free, how rare for a banana bread!

Thou shalt roam the fields and acquire:

• 2 ripe bananas, less if you don’t want your banana bread to be very banana-ry.
• 2 tablespoons maple syrup (golden will do, maple is more autumny).
• 3/4 cup raw sugar, other types of sugar won’t kill it if you don’t have raw.
• 1 egg
• 1 cup of self-raising flour. Must be able to self raise itself.
• Pinch of salt
• No more than 2 tsps of cinnamon, depends on how cinnamony you want your bread to be. Omit if you hate it.

Thou shalt now followth the following steps:

1. Preheat your bakinator to 180C… ask google what that is in fahrenheit.
2. Grease your loaf pan with butter. Line with baking paper if you have it.
3. Mash your bananas in a lightweight bowl. You’ll thank me later for telling you now. Obviously, mash smoothly if you want smooth banana bread, mash chunky-ly if you want chunks of banana in your bread.
4. Add the maple syrup and mix. Then add sugar. Proceed with mixing.
5. Add egg, sifted flour, salt and cinnamon. Mix until combined.
6. Pour mixture (thank me for warning you about the lightweight bowl) into loaf pan. It should only fill about half of the loaf pan… if not, be prepared to have a very very tall loaf.
7. Bake for approximately 30 to 40 minutes. Test this by sticking a skewer into the middle of the loaf. If wet batter sticks to the skewer then it’s not ready.
8. Cool for 10 minutes, then take the loaf out to cool further.
9. Store by wrapping it in cling wrap and putting it in the fridge. If you cut the bread into slices, the bread will dry out quicker. I prefer to cut when I want some.

Lazy people can enjoy banana bread just by itself like this but people who are in true search of taste nirvana can turn their oven/grill up to full heat, putting a slice in, waiting until the top and edges are nice and brown and crispy and enjoy with butter.

If you want nuts in your banana bread, add it with the cinnamon and stuff.

*Yes yes, I know many of you are northern hemispherians but I am not baking spring foods just because you’re all frolicking in the sun… bah. I wish hayfever upon you all! Ok no not really. I hate hayfever.

Well. Well. Weeeell… Wordpress was being an idiot (possibly my fault) and kept redirecting pages wrongly. So yeah, i’m starting again (I didn’t have a choice lol) with a new-spanking-Wordpress! It’s… really kind of the same with a better, fresher layout. Speaking of layouts, I decided that, amidst two assignments, it probably wasn’t the best idea to attempt a theme so i’ll just stick with this nice one for now.

With that said, i’m just going to write an open letter… in song form… to my parents right now:

Dear Mum and Dad,

By stupid new Queensland laws which I swear are a conspiracy to get us to catch the buses of hell, I have to drive 100 hours with you in the car before I can get my license. The problem is a) none of you can be bothered to get into a car with me and b) i’m never going to get my license if I don’t drive for that extra… +80 or so hours. So, I have made two verses to be sung to the chorus of a song that I did not write, in fact Franz Ferdinand did, but nevertheless it’s very relevant because the song is called “Take me Out”.

(stupid clip won’t stupid embed: http://youtube.com/watch?v=x_9GR9kdZ3o)

To mum and to dad/

I need my license soon/

Otherwise I’ll implode

So take me out

You say you’re too tired/

I say just get in the car/

And sit for the next ten hours/

While I drive.

There. Simple. I’m glad we cleared these issues up.